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reamster85
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Name: Jeanne
Metro:
Birthday: 5/20/1985
Gender: Female
Interests: COFFEE!!!!! movies, maybe a little reading, sometimes I enjoy hanging out with people I like, sometimes I like to travel
Occupation: STARBUCKS
Industry: COFFEE!!!!!
Message: message me
AIM:  reamster85
Member Since:
5/23/2005
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| I LOVED Pastor Willey's sermon on Sunday. By the end I was balling my eyes out. He was so kind and compassionate to those who struggle intensely. I sometimes can be that way and was so thankful that he didn't come down hard on me. I'll bet Jesus is kinda like him in that way. Anyway, this quote reminded me of the sermon. It comes from someone who's just suffered a great loss that is unbearable. And though I haven't been exactly there, I've had the same thoughts myself.
"If a godly perspective on life comes with such a high price tag, then I don't know if I want it."
Is it worth it? I'm still trying to figure that out.
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| So, I've been in a funk lately. There's a couple people that are gone, and I miss them. I know sometimes these thoughts I have are not helpful to me. But today I just wanna sit and cry. So here's a song. Everyday is a lifetime without you
Hard to get through, since you’ve gone
So I do the only thing I know how to , to get by
I’m living for the night
I’ve drawn all the curtains in this old house
To keep the sun out, off of my face
Friends stop by to check-in ‘cause I’ve checked out
I tell them I’m fine, I’m just living for the night
I can’t hide the tears I cry, the pain that came with
your goodbye
The memories that keep me out of sight
Every night I venture out, into those neon arms that
hold me tight
I’m living for the night
I’m a whole lot easier to talk to, when I’ve had a few,
settled down
Whiskey kills the girl you’ve turned me into
And I come alive
I’m living for the night
I can’t hide the tears I cry, the pain that came with
your goodbye
The memories that keep me out of sight
Every night I venture out, into those neon arms that
hold me tight
I’m living for the night
I’m living for the night
Everyday is a lifetime without you
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| So, I must say, the more I think about it, the more I realize that I am blessed and have been given everything I need. My family loves me. My roommate completely gets me. I have friends: guys and girls. People compliment me, which is very much appreciated. I have a job that I went to school to get. Most days people like me, and when they don't, I don't despair. I don't really feel like I'm gonna keel over at any moment, like I used to. I know I have people to turn to if I get overwhelmed. AND I made it through 1 year of teaching! I can do it. And even if I can't, the world might go on. When I think about Aria's death, I get so glad that there is heaven. When I think about Aria's death, I get so glad that my eternity is not dependent on me. When I think about Aria's death, I get so glad that life is not all about me, nor is anything about me, and I'm so relieved. Cuz I suck. The more I see, the more I suck. And that's okay. And when I think about Aria and heaven, I'm all the more reminded of that. | | |
| So you're sorry,
that face of an angel
comes out just when you need it to
and that face back and forth all this time
because I honestly believed in you
holding on
and days track on
stupid girl,
I should have known, I should have known
I am not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale
i'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
lead her up the stair well
this ain't hollywood, this is a small town
i was a dreamer before you
went and let me down
now it's too late for you and your white horse to come around
Baby I was naive,
and lost in your eyes
and never really had a chance
I had so many dreams
about you and me
happy endings
now I know
I am not a princes, this ain't a fairy tale
i'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
lead her up the stair well
this ain't hollywood, this is a small town
i was a dreamer before you
and i let me down
now it's too late for you and your white horse to come around
and you're here at my door
begging for forgiveness
begging for me just like i always wanted
but i'm so sorry | | |
| I was woken up this morning by my own anger. This is not a good feeling. I feel like I've been wronged, betrayed, lied to, and sometimes abandoned. I know God gives everyone free will to do what they choose. It just makes me so sad that people choose so wrongly sometimes. People that I thought I knew and trusted even a little, have disappointed me immensely. And the funny thing is I don't even expect that much; not from myself or from others. It just goes to show how scummy some people are. So...those are the thoughts that awoke me this morning. Bleh...
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